Blade of Kamui: The stylized look of this cartoon 
was great but the story was god forsaken. Jiro, 
Sam (his black slave friend, “yes master”), and 
Ooyuki search for Captain Kid’s treasure, 
inexplicably buried on Catalina.  Captain Kid, 
being such a nice guy, really wanted all his 
stolen loot to go towards building a school. Mark 
Twain even makes a short appearance to tell Jiro 
where the treasure is.

Gundress: A lame Masamune Shirow redo, of Bubble 
Gum Crisis.

Laputa: I don’t speak Italian but isn’t that the 
word for prostitute? It was cut and paste 
Miyazaki. He decided to lift characters from his 
other movies and combine them to make this film. 
The movie was made in a blender, a complete waste 
of time.

Black Lion: Black Lion was so bad that it was 
actually enjoyable. Medieval Samurai combined 
with laser cannons, machine guns, aliens, and 
cyborgs. In this cartoon, Oda Nobunaga is taken 
over by an alien being, this allows him access to 
advanced weaponry in order to kick everyone’s 
butt. While Nobunaga is taking over Japan with 
cyborg samurai and machine guns, he brings back 
Jinnai, a Samurai killed by ninja. Nobunaga tells 
Jinnai to kill all Ninja as revenge for killing 
him. Jinnai responds, even if I did I would not 
be satisfied. Nobunaga says, you have an immortal 
body, do it anyway. So, Jinnai goes on a Ninja 
killing streak. The best part of the cartoon is 
that Jinnai is invincible, so, he gets impaled on 
about 20 swords and everyone says, “Even Jinnai 
could not survive that”. He gets his head cut 
off , “Even Jinnai could not survive that”. 
Finally he gets blown up, which reveals he’s 
really a terminator reject. Then his head flies 
off his body and he shoots missiles from his 
mouth at fleeing ninja, “look out it’s Jinnai’s 
head”.