I just thought I'd share a method that has worked
for me and I thought it was very helpful.  I was
sure that you already knew safe shipping methods
*s*, I just wanted to state what way worked for me
in hopes that it would help :)

Eeh!  I guess not (damn alzheimers) :)
Well, you are definately going above and beyond
your duty.  I know most people wouldn't be as
concerned and would be content with refunding the
money.  

I haven't had this happen to me (knock on wood)
but I know I would be very upset like you are and
would want to make the situation better.