From Li Xao Lang 

To: YOu CaN PlEaSe HeR TwIcE!
Subject: Hello, meeting tomorrow?

Would you kindly get that big artifical dick out 
of my face while I'm trying to make out with my 
girlfriend?  If you don't, either I'm going to 
get out my magical object with the big red ball 
attached and smash it into smithereens and then 
my girlfriend is going to use something on it 
that'll make sure you NEVER get it up ever again.

Gonna get it?  Got it? Good.