Gomen kudasai, omae-dono;

This person is a bit concerned with omae-dono's 
reference to omae-dono as "ore-sama". Perhaps 
omae-dono is unaware of the face that 'ore' is a 
crude masculine pronoun? Perhaps omae-dono is 
also unaware of the fact that attaching any 
honorific to oneself's own name is considered 
improper in Japanese, and '-sama' is especially 
egotistical and offensive when one uses it to 
refer to oneself?

This person wishes omae-dono well with omae-
dono's quest for the perfect illogical hairstyle. 
This person has no advice to offer in regards to 
omae-dono's hair, but this person would 
respectfully suggest that perhaps if omae-dono 
spent a few more hours a day engaged in simple 
exercises such as walking, or exercise cycling at 
the gym, and a few less hours a day engaged in 
activities such as exposing omae-dono's cultural 
ignorance and excessive egotism on an Internet 
message forum, then perhaps omae-dono would be 
more likely to attract male attention with omae-
dono's hind quarters, as less sitting and more 
exercising would certainly do wonders for omae-
dono's spectacularly wide derrier. This person 
also humbly suggests that perhaps more male 
attention might be drawn to omae-dono if omae-
dono adopted a more humble and less mannish 
persona...however, it might be easier to simply 
reduce the size of omae-dono's rear. A sow's ear 
cannot be turned into a silk purse, but with a 
little effort, it CAN be made into a handsome 
billfold!

Respectfully,
Tokumei Honoo, 
who is unworthy to stand in omae-dono's presence