I know I said that I wouldn't care, but 
somehow... somehow... making ME look guilty 
here... oh, I'm so gonna get rough... gimme a 
Kalashnikov, NOW... no, don't, I might do 
something unlawful... geez, I learned to read 
when I was 4... and I knew the meaning of the 
word "fan" when I was 6 and my mothertongue ain't 
even English... HOW can a 15-year-old 
mothertongueenglishspeaker NOT... oh... OH... 

*goes to borrow neighbour's Pitbull for shipping 
it along with the cel, starved and unnerved... 
MUAHAHAHHAAAA*

(see link)
Anna

PS Still laughing. Only remotely annoyed yet.